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The Darren Wilson and Ray Rice connection Black Male Apologists don’t get

ray rice


ray rice

Gut check…

If you start your statement:

I support equality but…

I think women should have equal rights but…

I don’t condone Domestic violence or what he did to her but…

You have already said too much.

Taking a break from discussing politics and technology, I am going to make one last  attempt to explain to many well-intentioned black men who don’t support domestic violence and do not condone what Ray Rice did to understand why many black women are turned off by their less than supportive response and their reactions, nonetheless.

I’ve been battling folks all week in social media and after reading this Washington Post “Post everything” blog think piece on it which declares many black men akin to Darren Wilson supporters, I think I have it.  

You see brothers who supported the Mike Brown family, have also expressed outrage over the fact that the 18 year old Ferguson, Missouri’s killer, police officer Darren Wilson hasn’t been arrested while on paid administrative leave pending investigation.

You’d think a piece equating them to Darren Wilson supporters would let them get it, but nope!

Many are still out here, in the comment section and on the pages of those who have posted the piece, calling the author, Julian Long, of horrible emasculating names, and calling him gay and whatnot, just for writing in support of women. and/or dissing the piece, generally.

Talk about TONE DEAF!


I’m going to give it one last try, tell me if this is  convincing to make the point AGAIN by presenting this hypothetical:

Imagine, a hypothetical situations where  Darren Wilson, after killing Mike Brown, told his boss that Mike Brown was choking him when he shot and killed him, which leads the police chief to put Wilson on paid administrative leave.

Imagine, hypothetically  that a video surfaces from a camera phone which proves that Wilson NOT Brown was doing the choking or that there was no choking at all.

It turns up the chief had access to the video to prove what happened but chose not to pursue it; or gave him a slap on the wrist thinking no one would ever see the video.

The video gets released and circulated creating outrage in the community.

It causes the chief to fire Wilson.

Under that hypothetical scenario, would you be here, today, arguing that the police was wrong for firing Wilson, and subjecting him to a form of double Jeopardy?

The answer is likely NO.  As a black man, you can empathize with Brown and and can relate to him?

You would be too busy concerned over the dead 18 year old and wouldn’t give a rat’s ass about Wilson getting double jeopardy fine.

That is the point.

That is why you all come across as Darren Wilson supporters.

Y’all are doing the same thing…taking up the case for the PUNISHMENT of the aggressor, the one who did the killing or punching.

And in doing so, you all come off as you are MORE upset at the institution dishing out the punishment for not subjecting the aggressor to a stiffer fine earlier on to appease the masses so that the aggressor could play next year….

…or so Darren Wilson could return to the force in a year.

Many of us women don’t want to hear it.

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  • Hi Jeneba,

    Below is the comment I made on the WaPo site to the author of the article.


    Hey Julian,

    This entire article is some hot garbage. Let me break it down for you…

    1) I never had a conversation with you. To suppose that you can speak on how all brothers think is a lie.

    2) A drunk couple in an elevator fight does not compare to an officer shooting a surrendering teen at a distance. The only connection between the excuses of the two is the answer you made up…but I guess “That doesn’t matter.”

    3) You ask “Why do we keep letting Black women down?”. Then you let Janey Rice down by completely ignoring her request to leave them alone. You are the media “journalist” trying to get ratings that she was complaining about…yet you insist on letting her down Brother.

    The Bigger Issue In Context

    What is the difference between a fight and domestic abuse? Maybe it has not been articulated clearly but that is the unanswered question that is behind many men’s (all races) frustration. As it stands now, if I ever, Ever, EVER touch a woman that I am in a relationship with then I am pre-programmed to do it for the rest of my life…no exception.

    So basically all men have an insane gene that goes off the second we touch a woman. Really?

    Are there real domestic violence issues out there? Yes. But for the vast majority of men who do not have a psychological issue we get lumped into the same crowd if we get into a physical altercation with our woman.

    There are plenty of couples that got into fights and it never became a pattern. I know some who have broken up and are still friends years later. The truth is you don’t know if this was a one time fight or not.

    When a one time accident leads to the loss of employment and becoming a public villain…then yes men will speak up about it because it can literally happen to any of us. Your father, brother, son & uncle can have their life destroyed while taking the rest of the family with them.

    So let’s have real conversations. This article didn’t help a thing.

  • Thanks for commenting Brian!

    I hear ya, bruh! But here is the thing:

    No one is telling you that you cannot chose to believe this is a first time and one time thing and that there has not been a pattern of abuse.

    You can choose to believe that victims of domestic violence do not routinely step up and defend their abusers and tell others to butt out.

    You can choose to believe that this was a “one time” accident.

    You can even choose to believe that we all are rushing to judgment and that Ray Rice is an innocent victim or the media or the NFL and just knocked his girlfirned out, didn’t seem to look concerned for her well being by rushing down to check out if she was okay instead of kicking her then dragging her body out the elevator while others walked by.

    You can choose to believe that if you want. I choose not to and to not be blind to what is before my eyes. It looks like this was an normal thing.

    You and I don’t know that, you are right, but my filter tells me, there is an abusive ongoing relationship here.

    Because of that…any mention of all these other tangential issues are moot and not my primary concern.

    As we see now, more women are coming forward and no this is more common than many men want to believe.

    Perception is relative and subjective. And men who choose to believe Rice is the victim are indeed like Darren Wilson sympathizers. End of story.

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